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Articles by Bret Lyon
Articles by Sheila Rubin
Shame and Countertransference
Bound by Shame by Glenn Francis
Managing a Shame Attack by Joan Gold
Definitions of Shame
Healing Shame Reading List
Shame and the Self by Francis Broucek — a good supplement to Kaufman. Central Concept: Shame results from being seen in a way you very much don't want to be seen/being seen as an object, not a person. Also, exploration of the shaming quality inherent in most therapy, where one person "needs help" and is prodded to reveal and the other is "the expert" and interprets.
Shame and Pride by Donald Nathanson — a brilliant tome. Describes all of Sylvan Tompkins’ theory of affects — Tompkins' affect theory is the main influence on all of these authors. Very fine work on shame. Available inexpensively used on Amazon.
Shame, Exposure and Privacy by Carl Schneider — Schneider, a therapist and minister, looks at the positive importance of shame in a shameless society. Also looks at shaming in therapy.
Also: Shame and Neurosis by Helen Block Lewis. A psychoanalyst, who, in trying to determine why certain patients relapse, writes the first book by a psychoanalyst on the importance of shame. Working with shame also shortens treatment time to about 2 years instead of 6. Some interesting transcripts. Written in the 70s and very expensive used.
Easier Reading - For Clients
Letting Go of Shame by Ronald Potter-Effron — both with an excellent list of the different qualities of shame — what it looks and feels like and some simple exercises for the client.
Soul Without Shame by Byron Brown, of the Ridwan School. An excellent book, severely marred by suggesting using will power to entirely get rid of shame.
I Thought It Was Just Me and The Gifts of Imperfection by Bene Brown – a shame researcher whose Youtube TED talk has gone viral, she offers a lot of help around exploring the shaming prevalent in our society and developing resilience, especially for women. Many find both books inspiring and even lifechanging.
I Don't Want To Talk About It by Terrence Real. About as "real" as a book can be. Deeply personal, as well as clinical. An account of shame and male depression — often expressed in violence.
Kitchen Table Wisdom by Rachel Naomi Remen — Short vignettes from her life and practice. Doesnʼt talk much about shame, but gets at the heart of the powerlessness, emptiness and loneliness that characterize shame — and provides brilliantly countershaming spiritual uplift.
The Power of Focusing by Ann Weiser Cornell — A wonderful, practical book on how to work with what may be the most counter-shaming of all therapy techniques. Very useful for therapists and clients. Ann also leads phone trainings in Focusing, which, I believe, should be required for every therapist.
The Transforming Power of Affect by Diana Fosha — perhaps the best single book on how to do effective therapy, but can be very difficult to read. My suggestion is to read the case study first, then start from Chapter 2. It is best if you can supplement the book by taking her immersion course.
Books on Brain-Mind-Body
The Developing Mind by Daniel Siegal. Explores the connection between neurology, childparent affect regulation, attachment theory and adult psychology. Very readable.
A General Theory of Love by Lewis, Amini and Lannon. Short, poetic and inspired book on the brain, affect regulation, attachment theory and relationships. Amazingly profound for such a short book. A good book to suggest to clients.
Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine. Incredibly convincing and readable book comparing human and animal behavior to explore the genesis of and treatment of trauma. Central concept: Trauma is not what happens, but how we react to it. Our human socialization prevents us from following the natural process animals use to discharge energy and avoid trauma.
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